Remember, It’s a Process! by Ellie Hyatt


How many times have we heard that change involves a process and yet find we are disappointed with our progress?

Today, at this time in my spiritual journey I am more awake than ever, have more practices and information at my disposal and find I am not done, I have not arrived! Of course that arriving idea is not usually conscious. How it relates to the idea of worthiness is my old idea that I would have arrived when I stop having negative thoughts. 

This process of moving toward wholeness includes accepting the negativity bias of our brain. A quote from Rick Hanson explains this clearly, “positive thoughts slide off like teflon and negative thoughts stick like velcro.” This will not change, but what can change is building new pathways in the brain that support cultivating positive emotional states.

When I first was aware of the damaged relationship I had with myself I did not know what to do but I was willing to have this healed. My first action was to pray for a changed attitude toward myself. I knew I didn’t know how to make this happen, but this was enough to allow the shift to begin. 

The next step was a prayer I heard from someone else. It was a startling prayer, one I had a lot of resistance to it; but I remembered it. Several years later I started to pray myself, “ God, show me the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it might be.” Yes, it took several years before I could consider the truth might be beautiful!

Another practice that I started years ago was a gratitude list. I was not aware that this would also add to cultivating positive emotional states, but it does and is a very practical way to support this move toward worthiness.

Many years later, I am still in this process of self-acceptance, of discovering the truth about myself. My goal is no longer perfection, it is to accept and love whatever arrives in me and in others. The Rumi poem The Guest House, states it so beautifully in the last verse. “Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a Guide from beyond.”

I now have several other practices that support the process of increased self-acceptance and well-being. These move me closer to knowing I am worthy now! They have come as the result of my study of self compassion. I look forward to sharing more and hope to hear from you and learn about your experience. Blessings on your day.