"If you want to be merciless, be merciless against the temptation to blame. Question the usefulness of blaming at every opportunity. Ask yourself, 'if I had committed a crime, would I respond better to condemnation or caring?' If you find within yourself a secret desire to be condemned, ask yourself what needs to die within you. Chronic self-blame is always a means of putting off the work of change." - from The Way of Forgiveness by D. Patrick Miller.